its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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