That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize