the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
