The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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