There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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