i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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