That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
