If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
