You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
