I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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