My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
