my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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