I cut my penus on the lid.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
