Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
