allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
