No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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