I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
