Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
