chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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