Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
