Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
