It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
