I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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