He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
