that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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