btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
that's an acceptable place to lick
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
