you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
