After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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