Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
