Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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