Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
