I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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