Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
