Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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