The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
