her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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