The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
