my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
