u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
