3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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