I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
