Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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