Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
