well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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