We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
