Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
