No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
