I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
