I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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