i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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