I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
