I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
