I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
