I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
