also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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