It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
