just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
