Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
