I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
