so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
