kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
